Becoming A Better Listener

What is the other person saying to me? What is the story they are telling with their words? What is the story they are telling with their facial expressions and body language? Do they match up?

Wait For The Speaker To Pause To Ask Clarifying Questions

Am I interrupting? Are my thoughts making it hard to give my full attention?

Ask Questions Only To Ensure Understanding

Am I passing judgment? Do I already have advice ready to give them because I think I know better than they do? Am I sitting with my arms crossed and fists clenched or are my shoulders and hands relaxed and arms open?

Things You Can Do To Be Supportive

Am I creating trust by validating the speaker’s experience with statements like “I hear you” “I can see how you could take it that way” “I get it” etc.”?

Try To Feel What The Speaker Is Feeling

What questions can I ask to help them figure out how they feel and think?